11. Be the Butterfly

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    Happy Near Year everyone!

    I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season! For many of us the New Year is not only an opportunity to feast and booze with friends and family but also an opportunity to reflect and reset. Many of you will likely take some time to set new goals for the year ahead.

    Unfortunately, within a few months many of us will either have failed to make real progress on those goals or have completely forgot about them, womp, womp.

    I’m certainly guilty of this but this year I want things to be different. Then again I also said the same thing last year …

    In attempt to break the cycle, I’ve been reflecting on the whole process of goal setting and I’ve noticed a few things that consistently trip me up:

    How big / ambitious should my goals be? I’ve always struggled with striking a balance between setting big, ambitious goals and setting goals that seem obtainable. Big, ambitious goals inspire and carry emotional weight. On the other hand, it’s easier to build actionable plans around more obtainable goals.

    What happens if my goals change? There’s a fine line between giving up on a goal because you don’t want to do the work anymore and because you don’t want the result anymore. Navigating this is especially tricky for bigger, more ambitious goals.

    How should goals be integrated into my daily life? All the goal setting in the world doesn’t matter if they aren’t somehow integrated into your life. How do you keep them fresh and emotionally charged? Goals are meaningless if you don’t actually remember what they are day to day. If tracking progress is so much work that you end up abandoning the goal that’s not useful either.

    How do I convert a list of goals into a plan? Settings goals is important but it’s only the first step. Without any planning, a list of goals is just a wishlist. A goal requires a plan to be accomplished but creating a good plan is a non trivial task that requires real work.

    I have on multiple occasions sat down to write my goals for the following year but usually it just ended there. Usually I would make some list in a journal or create a spreadsheet which would sit around collecting digital dust until the next year.

    Process > Accomplishment

    While trying to sort through some of these questions for myself I thought back on the things I have accomplished and what that process actually looked like. Unsurprisingly most of my accomplishments have come through a sustained, focused effort over a period time. This leads me to believe that this year I need to reframe my goals not in terms of accomplishment but in terms of process.

    In other words, what processes and routines can I add/remove/change to improve myself? A goal framed in terms of a process has the following advantages:

    • Process are by definition a plan
    • Success is not binary and is measurable in terms of adherence
    • Processes are flexible and can change given new information
    • Processes help to build habits and create lasting transformation

    Here’s an example of different ways to frame the same fitness goal. First, the accomplishment only version.

    “This year I’m gonna get a six pack!”

    It’s a start but not so helpful right? Let’s try again using the SMART framework.

    “Gain 6 pounds of lean muscle mass by May 1st.”

    More helpful. It’s specific, measurable, realistic and has a clear timeline. But it’s also still framed purely as an accomplishment. It provides no information about HOW it should be achieved.

    “Complete a core workout 3 times a week, every week, until May 1st.”

    Much better! Now by reframing the goal in terms of a process I know exactly what needs to be done and I can measure against it more easily.

    You Don't Know ... What You Don't Know

    Importantly, the goal is independent of the outcome. A six pack is likely to result from the process but it’s not the goal per se. This might sound somewhat counterintuitive but it’s actually extremely important for setting big, ambitious goals where you don’t really know what is required to accomplish that goal.

    Using the fitness example, how long should it take for someone to get a six pack? Or more importantly, how long should it take you specifically? Unless you’ve done this before you actually have no idea. You may have a rough estimate but in a lot of cases your estimates can be wildly off. Besides, if you had already done it and knew exactly what was involved it probably wouldn’t be on your list of goals.

    Your ability to set good, accomplishment focused goals assumes you have a lot more knowledge about your own abilities and about the future than you actually have.

    By defining your goals in terms of processes, however, you not only protect yourself against uncertainty, you guarantee progress towards a broader objective that matters to you.

    Be the Butterfly

    Lastly, in most situations what we’re really looking for is not specific accomplishment but lasting personal transformation. We want to become a new kind of person who is healthier, kinder, happier, wealthier, more effective, wiser etc. To become this new person we have to adopt new ways of being on a regular basis. We need to create a new normal with new habits and routines.

    By defining goals in terms of a process they have stronger lasting power and will chart a clearer path to becoming the next, better version of ourselves.

    Best of luck with your goal setting this year, you got this!

    Cheers,

    Nick

    © Nick Nathan, 2022